Squirrels should go mind their nuts

A few days ago I realized that I might become the 80-year-old woman armed with a BB gun shooting at squirrels. This is not something you want to know about yourself. I don't mind squirrels. Not really. I just want them to do what squirrels do. Our backyard has four gigantic oak trees that every Fall drop a plentitude of acorns. The oak trees serve as a free buffet as long as the squirrels are willing to dig beneath a snowy landscape. Apparently they aren't. They'd much rather dig through my bird feeder for free seed. The lazy bums! I want birds to eat bird food and squirrels to eat squirrel food. What's wrong with that? So when  a fat, gluttonous squirrel leans toward the bird feeder off our deck, I do what any normal, rational Midwestern woman would do. I pound on the window, lift it and scream bloody murder at them. I've even taught my daughters to do the same. My husband thinks I'm insane, but if the little critters would go mind their nuts, I might mind my business.